Back..

Itching to put down my thoughts circling in my head. Nipped out that laziness preventing me to jot the updates and happenings. Phew! its been 5 year..only 5 short years I should say if I look back at Sandhya and Divya. Boy they are in teens..well almost. They are almost encompassing all of my fears with teen age demands ..almost. Now while writing this my mind is taking a step back , my mind away from the body and analyzes the situation. My mind is knocking me down with the facts. Hey you.. they are good kids ..for the most part...yeah ofcourse..I retort...why dont you celebrate that instead of whining on the bad part of the teenage years..yeah I know right I should do that..but but ms.Mind where and when do I whine ...I thought you created this blog just for that..Mind is thinking now
OK enough of that..this will be my melting pot or the kitchen sink where you mix everything or dump everything either way. 12/10/15 The girls are getting ready for their winter concert at school. I help them wear their mascaras and eye liners. CAN YOU BELIEVE IT Im asking myself. Sigh. I learned to balance acts to some extent. I learned to step in to their shoes a tiny bit. Until last event I was huge opposer of them wearing any kind of cosmetics. I explain it is not good to use those chemicals so early blah blah.. they are upset..try crying ..putting a scene..to who? me..poor kids..the NO never changed coming out of my mouth. And then there I am at the venue utterly shocked to see such young girls in full blown make up. I pinch myself and realize this is the reality..I see the hesitation in Divya's body language..an insecurity in Sandhya in moving around freely..they are quiet..unusually quiet and go to a corner making sure they are not giving a chance to their friends and other girls ask them why they are not dressed up.. That's when it clicked..I tried to put myself in their position..I see it as a less than normal for not dressing up..I feel Im not normal..fitting in to the social crowd there. But obviously I had to come back to my own shoes..I decided it is OK to have some leeway.. I bought them some basic cosmetics..and put down some rules..I still don't allow them to wear lipstck or perfume..deodrants are fine, chap sticks are fine ..no foundation or colorful eye shadow or any such things. Trying to keep it to a minimal..trying to teach them to be modest at the same time not feel lonely..I have to unlearn and re learn things to understand them as individuals. They are happy now that I let them do some things. Im happy they are happy with the allowed rules and demanding for more ..as of now..win win ..right..Please Mind say its a win win..you damn thing .. Note: I tried to change, not before Sandhya commented the she wished she was born to a girl mom and that Im actually a boy mom.. She could not imagine to the slightest possible way how can a Mother deny and neither does it for herself, these basic stuff that all GIRLS Do..that means logically Im not a Girl..which makes sense :)