Identity crisis....

Recently I started noticing things what Sandhya and Divya says regrding there likings or their opinions, be it a song or food or color or whatever they could spin their conversations on. If I play a song in the car and if Sandhya says she likes it Divya makes it a point to dislike it, same with food..Sandhya likes rasam..Divya likes only sambar..Sandhya hates vegetables divya always asks for a second serving especially the ones which Sandhya refuses to eat even if I force her..on the other hand Sandhya like to have spinach in any form and Divya never touches Spinach..and lateley Sandhya seems to pick up math better than Divya but Divya does better job in reading and writing...the more Divya says she likes to write the more I see that Sandhya does not want to write. I'm sure Divya likes pink but the other day I heard her say she doesn't like pink the moment Sandhya said that it was her favourite. It is as though they wanted to prove that they are different in all aspects..fighting for an identity, as if they no more wanted us to treat them as "They" or "them" but instead as individual persons. It is ok to a certain length but it started to concern me a bit now as this process finds its way in each and everything crossing their life from dawn until dusk.Me or M are as careful as humanely possible to not to utter any word of comparisons between them but still they tend to do this. Expressing their feeling is something but developing an opinion purely based on the other twin sibling's liking is not a pretty scene to watch...

I feel that they always have this little competitiveness running between them (may be to catch our attention more) M used to comment that for us it a competitive world outside the house but for them its right inside and exists all 24 hrs. I'm sure this happens with all siblings to some extent but with twins I think its more vivid

I'm just crossing my fingers and hoping that they would grow out of this as they grow up...

..A broken heart...

As the girls get settled in their new Kindergarten environment, Divya got her first invitation for a birthday party from one of her class mate A who happens to be in her day care too. The invitation had a castle and a princess theme set for the party which no wonder made Divya all excited. At the first glance I did not notice the day of the party so I promised her that I would take her to the party. One of the reason , the most important of all, for which she was super excited was the fact that Sandhya did not get invited. Since the girls are in diffrent class rooms and since the birthday girl was from Divyas class, Sandhya was not invited. Divya had been watching the bithday girl describe her costume and stuff as they were spending most of the time together at school and the day care. I had stuck the invitaion on our fridge and when I tried to RSVP I noticed that the party was a weekday that too on a Monday 5 pm. As I commute a long distance there was no way I can leave work for a silly bith day party I thought, and decided we would not go. All I thought of was about my commute and work but I totally missed from Divyas point of view(Can I get any more self centered than this :( sigh..) Afterwards I totally forgot about this until I went to pick up the girls from the day care on monday, the moment I entered the day care Divya came running to me with wide eyes asking "are we going to the party now.." but it was too late already.. so I had to say "Next time ..not now.." poor little thing, she was so devastated..she would'nt want to stop crying , din't matter what I said or offered her...infact I had brought her favourite lolly pop that day but she did not even bothered to touch it...I had to literally half drag and half carry her to the car and she slept after sometime still weeping...and she continued to cry until I forced her to have something to eat and she slept with her eyes still wet...I felt guilty , bad that I'm not fit to be a mommy..I felt I deprived her due right to go to her friends party..ofcourse this is not the first time I felt this way but every time I would just console myself that sometimes or somethings need to be sacrificed because of my full time work which is in turn for the chideren's good, I would console myself blindly..but this time it was different.. I could have spared a half hour , come early and taken her to the party...bad me. What has happened is happenend and as usual to suppress my guiltiness I bought her Pizza for dinner the next day..she pulled the invitation which was still stuck on the fridge and said or rather demanded that she need the same kind of castle in her next birhtday invitation , at the same place and wanted to invite A to her birth day..I nodded cheerfully as if I'm absolved for my guilt..