Marayoor

I happen to go to this place called Marayoor during my stay in India. This is by no means a tourist place, but a small town in Kerala, and Tamil Nadu border. I haven't heard of this town before. It so happened that we got an opportunity to stay at a friends house which was empty. The friend who reside in the US bought that small house there on a whim and praised and talked so high about the location. When we all, the kids, me and my siblings family left from Chennai, we did not have a slightest idea about the place. All we knew was that there was a house we can stay and the town is nice and peaceful. But it proved to be a complete stress buster with its lush, very lush green surroundings and trees. Its hilly region but not too high altitude though. The Jackfruit trees and wild vines and bushes were present where ever you turn your head. Other than that its just a small town with a central place for small shops , few hotels and a bank and some grocery and roadside fruit vendors. There were narrow foot paths around the house leading to the neighbors houses and a there was a trail surrounded by big trees that sometimes you will miss seeing the path, which lead to a small waterfall. Probably the people who live there were so much used to this waterfall that they don't go up every day. So when we reached the falls it was just us. Only us and the falls and the flowing river and the trees. Imagine how the kids would've felt. Of course I don't have words to describe it. They totally had a blast. We were soaking in the water from morning till noon and went down ate a nice kerala meal and then went up again to soak up the sun and water until we saw dark clouds gathering. We started to run back down and reached the house just in time when the monsoon rains started to pour. Came to know that such heavy rains are common everyday scene there during June-July season. The rain just poured non-stop for an hour, a typical monsoon rain which was a welcome amidst the afternoon heat unlike the cold chilly drizzles that is called rain here where I live. It was just lovely , I'm sure that the kids, nephews and nieces would savor this memory for a long time to come..me too..

Trip

Why is it that a trip to India always results in more home sickness? This time I was able to take 3 weeks off to be there. Invariably I was playing with the idea of postponement but eventually left on the day I was supposed to leave. Too many things to do too many people to meet at least satisfied that I was able to complete half the things I planned. Just staying indoors chatting with my mother and arguing with my father sitting in the front porch during evening times with a warm breeze which includes the flying mosquitoes and late night chat with my brother is all I wanted for a perfect vacation getaway.

M is now in India and will be returning soon with Sandhya and Divya who we had left there to spend more time with the 2 sets of grand parents. They seem to like their stay so far sans the minor discomforts namely the mosquitoes and squat type toilets in some places they visit. Soon, I will be once again settling down in to the routine grind ...drop off, pickup..day care...school... work...packing lunches..swim classes..music classes...

surprisingly I'm looking forward to it after nearly a 2 month break from them, like the excitement and the anticipation we have towards the first day of school after summer holidays...hmmm, I know it sounds too cliched..the truth is I will be yearning for another vacation exactly 1 week after it starts.

How Not To End a Weekend

I had a very bad Friday last week. I would not say I did not 100% expect it, it was just looming over the horizon waiting to happen any day and it happened last Friday. With the worlds 2 big distraction as my passengers I had a minor accident. I hit a car in front of me during my drive home from work. The damage was not big and touch wood, nobody in both the cars did not have any injuries. I had collapsed and had a break down inside the car and on the phone with M , though I put a brave casual face to the other party and the cops. Divya asked for a cookie and I turned back to say something and by the time I turned around the car in front of me had stopped completely and I did not have enough time to stop. Since it was already a stop and go traffic where I was not moving more than 5 miles/hr the damage was not big but still it just shook me up. I had never had incidents in my record since I got my license, although M would have a different story but I had never got a speeding ticket or a red jump or a parking ticket where I had to pay, my record was spotless and in a split second its gone. I will have this accident on my record for the next 5 years. During my break down inside the car until the cops came I did not fail to take the kids on a guilt trip to an extent that they started crying (yeah I know, I should not have turned back what ever the reason, but I need someone to blame like M use to say, but that's me, I don't have any intention to change) and when I told this I got an earful from my parents in regards to the blame. So spent close to an hour on the freeway and another hour on the phone with the insurance and another couple of hours on the phone with my parents cursing my bad time, this country, finally slept through the night emotionally exhausted. Well this is the first time for me I'm sure I will get over from next time onwards :) (hope none of the good/bad fairies/angels around me heard that line).

conversations
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D: Sandhya, why did you eat my chocolate that I had saved in my bag?
S: Well you did not eat it for a long time so I ate it
D: amma, can you stop her from doing this, she always does this, she never listens to me, she always spoils my toys, she always uses my pen without my permission, she always ...(continues)
Me and Sandhya were already zoned out..

after a while

S: Divya, how come you eating 2 toasts and I got to have only one?
D: Well, you ate my chocolate
S: (cutting through) is that a pay off
D: Yes
S: okay (continues with her work)

Its almost always better to stay away from banters. It works out on its own 99% of the time

Conversations..

Now that they are seven and in first grade Sandhya and Divya's conversation has got more girlish rather babyish. They play with each other most of the time..but they also bully and tease each other quite often too. Though the bullying party enjoys wheres the bullied one screams and lay down the ground for a fight, I can very well see how they are going to be closer with each other in their older age. I still remember how I would scream for help from my mom to come intervene and stop my brother from bullying me ( oh..that annoying teasing laughter he had..)when we were young but as the years went by we became closer, talking out our problems..ofcourse over the phone. It does not matter whether we are able to resolve each others problem, just lending and borrowing ears to talk out our happiness or frustrations. I always feel lighter after I have a talk with my brother though its like once a month or so given his busy schedule. last week Divya was standing on the doorway to the kitchen when Sandhya came rushing in pushing Divya on her way, :

Divya (screaming and whining): Sandhya why did you hit me, its aching
Sandhya: Noo, I din't hit you I just tapped you on my way
Divya: No, you hit me and pushed me like this ** and demonstrates it on Sandhya**
Divya: this how you did it
Sandhya( sounding accented): ookayy..but I'm not crying and whining like youuu
Divay: Screaming for me to come and intervene *yes..just like I did when I was her age*

Bliss..

I had stayed home yesterday for the Dr. King Jr holiday(school and day care are closed so had to stay home for the kids). As I had always felt, a 2 day weekend always leaves me with a wish that it would be nice to have just 1 more day to relax before the work week starts. This past weekend I decided to treat it as a 2 day and completed all my chores and reserved the Monday to spend with the girls. I had a pleasant time with the kids. I had all the world's patience when I helped them with their homework which is a rarity, then we did a small experiment with matter states as their homework activity. I showed them how water froze in to ice and retained a shape of the container. It was a such a delight to watch them getting excited over it, checking out the freezer every few minutes while the water was turning in to ice (and at the end of the day I happened to notice that there were close to 5 cups of water sitting in the freezer). Then I warmed the ice over the stove and closed with a glass lid to show them how the vapor turned in to water again. They pulled up a stool next to the stove and watched it with such an excitement. I cooked lunch, that which they wanted to have not what I could easily cook. With the storm and rain going on outside we three bundled up in the bed cozily and did book reading after lunch. Divya as usual ended up pretending a teacher and read books until we all fell asleep and had a nice little afternoon nap. I got up had a steaming cup of chai while they were still sleeping. Ha! that was bliss..believe me,I was so very close to quit my job today...but yeah, no need to mention that I'm typing this out sitting at my work place...

How much can you protect?

The other day while having dinner Divya was chatting away as usual with her imaginary stuff and questions and also what she did in school that day and some where in the middle of this she asked me if I know the bad word that stands for this, raising her middle finger. I was shell shocked for a moment did not know what to answer. Slowly I recovered deciding that it should be handled as smooth as possible. I know that if you try to divert or cut short her question by commanding not to talk about it , it will surely perk up her curiosity more. She was as casual as she can which made be accept that she is not aware of what she is asking about. So I continued myself as casually as I possibly could. I said that I did not understand her question. She elaborated that one of the kid in her class said that showing a middle finger means a bad word, but did not say what the word is and she went ahead and asked me if I know the word. I said that I indeed know it and said that as she herself put it, is a "bad" word and totally not appropriate not only for the kids but even for adults like me and so said that I will not say it out for my sake too. She seem to be quite satisfied with my answer as she moved on to talking other things which is a sign that she is not interested in it anymore so no more questions about it. I too left it like that, but after a while I felt the need to talk to her because basically I was not settled in my mind. I sat next to her and as if generally speaking said that bad words are meant to hurt others and since we don't want to hurt others we should never use if we know its bad and told her that even if she hear other kids use them, she should either use the "I" message to let them know that its not appropriate and let them know how she feels. She was quiet for sometime and then just started playing. I think I did my best or may be ther is a different way to deal I don't know ...seriously...how much can you protect them? They go to a public school and they meet so many kids from so many different backgrounds. All we can do is to choose a good neighborhood, look at the past history and score of the school. We can teach them to identify what is bad and good and what is appropriate and inappropriate so that they develop self judgment while they choose/pick or associate themselves with other kids..rest I think is totally out of any parents control. Hope and wish that I will not be wondering what the H***k I was doing bringing them up when they hit the teenage..thats another whole story