M:Hey Divya shall I get you a Wii for Christmas
Divya(with a serious face): No, thank you. My gift is all ready and on its way from North Pole
===============================================
They have been teaching the Bumburo song(Mission Kashmir - Preity Zinta and Hrithik Roshan)in Divyas class for a multi culture performance. She herself not knowing hindi would sing with random words which sounds/rhymes close to the actual lyrics. Me got curious and asked her how are other kids meaning non-indian kids singing this song.
Divya,"They sing like this...Bumburo, bumburo blah, blah, blah, blah bumburo"
===============================================

Lost and Found

People who have met Sandhya ..even just couple of times.. may know this, she gets distracted so easily. Distraction happens even when you are out walking with her. She starts to walk with me and slowly trail behind if I'm not holding her hand and in some cases literally dragging her in a sense to keep up with me. As now she is not a *baby* any more she refuses to being held by me and insists that she would walk next to me on her own. So now whenever she trails behind, every now and then I had to stop turn back to check her and call her to hurry up. As to the question of why she is slow is because she likes to watch things around her, to an extent that she sometimes comes to a standstill and stop walking to watch whatever that's amusing to her...and things that amuse her are endless from simple conversation between complete strangers to just a traffic light or a passing car..goes on..but you get the idea.

This last thanksgiving weekend, we went out for shopping (of course we do contribute our part to the black Friday). After couple of stops we came to a complex housing both Walmart and Khols, M wanted to checkout something at khols but I wanted to get some basic things needed at home which were missing our radar when ever we go to the shop like Tooth Paste (I would like to add here that we had been using all kinds of tools to wipe out that last bit of paste from the tube because of our forgetfulness, really amazing..)So we decided to split me with Sandhya to Walmart and M with Divya to Khols. After we are done we met at Walmart and were going to go out when M told me that he bumped in to one of our friend there in Walmart when he was coming in, me curious to meet her too said to him that I will go meet her and join him at the parking lot. Assuming that both the girls would follow him I retreated in to the store not looking back just to get frustrated not being able to locate my friend in that crowd.

I went out to the parking lot and saw M waiting with Divya. When M did not find Sandhya with me he asked me about her, he was assuming that Sandhya was with me. We both panicked and ran back in to the store without knowing what to do. A big ball of acid started churning in my stomach. Where would we look for her in this crowd I thought. Swimming across the crowd we reached the staffs standing near the counter and asked them if they had seen a girl wandering, explaining her jacket color and stuff. They said there was a small girl found and is made to sit with a security guard near the fitting room and that they were about to page for the parents. We made a mad rush to the fitting rooms praying that the girl should be Sandhya. Well yes, it was Sandhya sitting there as calm as ever and doing her favorite thing..watching people passing by. I felt angry, sad and happy ...roller coaster of emotions. But she did started crying the moment she saw us..

Once after we reached the car, all kinds of scary thought came popping out..what if she went out to the parking lot searching for us, what would have happened if someone had took her or got hit by a car...With all these thoughts we turned back to her and said,"Sandhya this is what happens if you don't pay attention", at this point came out the background of her getting missed. When I turned back to look for my friend, Sandhya had started walking with M and Divya at which point Divya had told her that she was supposed to go with me and should not join her and appa. Sandhya listening to her sister obediently turned back and tried to join me, me unaware of this was walking swiftly, in the process she missed tracking me and ended up wandering around crying.

Both me and M started to preach what she was supposed to do (god forbid) if this is to happen again. We pressed as strong as possible that she should never ever go out of the store or with any stranger even if they say that they saw the parents waiting out and that they would take her to the parents...hopefully she remembers it, because it did not look like it, as she responded to us saying, "I know the person I talked to was working there, how can they ever take me out during their work time, it cannot happen" Sigh.. .

The "mean" Game

I like to narrate about incidents when I was growing up to Sandhya and Divya. They in fact like to hear those stories than the stories from books as I do spice it up when I'm narrating to them. I recently was telling them how I used to go to my grandfather's village during summer holidays when I was small when the talk about summer activities came up. I was mentioning how it used to be fun then running around backyards with uncountable coconut and mango trees, bating in the ponds where at one end of the pond buffaloes will be sun bathing too. They listened to me with beady eyes interrupting with questions like how far did you climb the tree to pluck the mangoes or did it itch when you played on the haystack like it does when we play on the lawn or how cousins you had or did you really catch fish with hands etc . As a year end project they did a model to represent a farm and all the activities in their class were based on learning about farm It started when Divya showed me her craft where she made a rooster out of a plastic cup with a string hanging and a small sponge tied at the end, she showed me that when you wet the sponge and use it to pull the string it sounds like a chicken clucking. Then she told me "this is how a chicken sounds do you know it". I smiled and said I know how it sounds , I have seen it ..paused a bit and asked them have you ever seen a rooster, they sadly nodded no, then my evil laughter sprung up, I midst laughing started playing it.."Oh not even once you have seen it...in your whole life , you have not seen a hen?" at first it was amusing to them with me laughing they enthusiastically nodded and said No for all my questions..it was fun..but soon Sandhya's face turned red and she stopped smiling. She went and sat at the corner of the Sofa and said "amma its all your fault, you should've shown us the roosters when we were in India last time, and now you are making fun of us"..

Sure enough we did not see a rooster or hen for the meager amount of time we visited M's grandfather's village during our last visit. With every body migrating to towns and cities villages are not anymore lively. Its like some zombie place. Its been decades since I visited my grandfather's village but the memories of my summer vacation are still sweet. We managed to see a goat and its 2 days old kid during that trip. It was an experience for the girls. they were really excited. Of all the things that attracted them there was one thing that Sandhya was really in to examining. It was Goats poop. There were of course lots around and she asked us what it was that's looking like black beans. She was not ready to believe that it was the goat's poop. We had to try hard to not make her touch it. She was keeping on coming back to it asking us was it really the poop :).

Stubborn is her other name

Between Sandhya and Divya, the latter is known for her stubbornness in our household. If she had something in her mind and she is not seeing that happening she is a real pain in the B***. She throws tantrums, screams and cry non stop at least minimum for an hour. The problem is once she is upset she wouldn't want to change her mood even when she is offered what she was expecting or would not accept any deviation or substitute from what she was looking for in other words she is totally inflexible. So the usual reaction from us is to ignore her for that hour until she is tired of crying. With that pre text I chanced to experience an interesting episode with her character past weekend.

I usually keep some extra candys in one of top shelf of the kitchen cabinets believing that they won't be able to reach it even if they use a chair. Divya successfully had broken my belief. In the excitement that she was able to grab some candy she had hurriedly popped one in her mouth and ran outside to the backyard. On her way she had dropped one on the rug. Outside she did not expect to see Sandhya , and Sandhya seeing her chew something had asked her what she was eating, Divya as shrewd as she is said she was eating nothing. Suspicious Sandhya ran to me saying Divya is eating something yellow in color and that she is not sharing with her. The immediate panic for me was to search for any missing tablets and such and confirming that nothing like that were lying around I encountered Divya.

Me: Divya, what are you eating/
Divya: Nothing
Me; I see something in your mouth, tell me what you had , I want to know that its not something dangerous
Divya: No, amma , its not dangerous
Me: oh..so what did you have?
Divya: I don't know
Me: You don't know what you ate? then I think we have to the hospital to check it out.C'mon lets go..
Divya: No, Its not poisonous we don't have to go
At this point I saw the dropped candy on the floor and I guessed what had happened. She did not wanted Sandhya or me to know that.
Me: (continuing the conversation)so what shape was it?
Divya: I don't know
Me: did you atleast know what color it was?
Divya: I don't know
Me: Ok. was is tasting sweet?
Divya: No it was tasteless
Me: @#$%^!!!!

I frankly did not know how to pry out the answer from her mouth and make her accept that she indeed ate a candy. I wanted to make her feel that it was ok to have and that she should let me know so that I can watch out that she accidentally did not consume something else thinking it was a candy.

Since I did not know how to proceed. I said that I know what she had eaten and that since she was not honest she has to sit on a time out. She to much of my surprise turned to the wall and sat down without a whine or a word or a sulk. She sat there until I called her get up which was close to 30 mts because usually timeouts in our house are not that strict, they fuss and probably sit for a minute or two and then run away so I forgot about the timeout I gave Divya and when I entered the room after 30 mts she was there still sitting facing the wall. I attributed that purely to her guilt :) I then did all the pampering and advised her to be careful in what she eats and be honest with amma and appa which will only help her. At the end she cried a bit and nodded that she would listen to me. Just before letting her go..I asked her one last time..."Divya, you did eat the yellow candy that I had from valentines day left over right, tell me I won't bother you again?" She stared at me for a moment evaluating and then nodded a big NO and ran out...

Updates

Its been a while since I wrote any post. Sure there's a lot going on with the school year ending. Sandhya and Diva will be officially out K and entering first grade in a few weeks. I was busy with finding summer classes with suitable timings for them. Glad that their care taker is willing to shuttle them to and fro from the classes.

A few weeks back their school put up a performance of "The three Little Piggy Opera".The CDs congaing the songs were sent home well ahead like a month before the performance so that the children can practice through the spring break until the performance date. Of course we had 2 Cds one from each of Sandhya and Divya's class. I had one in the car and one at home. Soon before I realized I had all the songs memorized. I was singing 'em while cooking..working..you name it. Sandhya and Diva were catching up too with their favorite song being "I wanna big fat pig to eat..". They had a lottery in their class for the all the roles and the kids who were not offered any role supposed to be the chorus. It so happened that Sandhya was to be a brick peddler and Divya a mother pig.

I took the day off as the performance timing were different for both of them planning to be present for both of them ( oh yeah ..of course I was looking for reasons to take off from work). I dropped them at school and the plan was that I will be hanging around their class helping the teacher until the performance and then M would join me with camera and stuff at the hall. So far so good..10 mts before Divya's performance M called me to say that he was stuck at work and won't be able to make it and asked to get the camera from his car parked at his office. Now his office is close by but I had doubts if I can make it, that is go pick up the camera and come back within 10 mts. I calculated that it will take sometime for them to set things up on the stage and that it wouldn't start exactly at the said time what with excited 5 year olds lining up I thought. I took a risk and I badly lost it. By the time I reached the hall Divya was already done with her song. What shall I say except to curse myself for running out to pick up the camera, if not recorded atleast I could've watched her sing.

I have the consolation that I was able to take some pictures of her in the costume. She without failing asked me "Amma how did I do?" and I without any hesitation said "It was wonderful Divya". She continued to say that she did well because she could not see me in the audience so she did not feel shy !!!!..

I had ample time before Sandhya's class performance so I took a front prominent seat set myself ready with the camera. I thought of recording the whole thing instead of just Sandhya's part. The moment when Sandhya went to stage for the brick peddler scene the camera shut down as the memory was full. Since we did not have time to charge our video camera I was using the photo camera, the idea was to replace it with extra memory card which I conveniently left it in the car..duh!! I cannot say how stupid I felt at that moment sitting there, but yeah at least I enjoyed watching her who after all those practice stood there until her partner, another girl, started off with wrong lines. It was supposed to be Bricks I sell, Bricks I sell...instead the girl started off like I sell Brick, I sell bricks..Sandhya realizing the error instead of correcting it turned around to look at her partner held her arms tightly and was pulling her arms down. Thankfully her teacher prompted with the right lines and then they completed singing the lines with a big smile and laughter from the audience..

ahh.. well of course its just the beginning I have another 12 years of school performance/concerts may be to attend, I will make it up with the next one.

Earth

DisneyNature's Earth is a breathtaking feast to the eyes. Although it was rated as G scenes where a wolf attacking a baby caribou or a Great white shark leaping 32 feet in the air to grab and hold its seal meal did not sit well with Sandhya and Divya.

The story line involves different animal families with new born. The struggle they go through to protect the babies. Astonished to see how this maternal instinct to protect the babies is so deep rooted in any living thing. Movie also takes us through different regions of earth right from Tundra to the African desert to the Himalayas which at least I would not have viewed in my life if not for movies like these and the documentaries on TV.

The ariel view of the migration of caribou herds and buffalo herds were simply awesome not to leave the bird migration. There were also totally fun moments to watch where a bird species in the middle of the rain forest being soo...much obsessed with scrubbing and cleaning its living space to attract its mate. One thing to make sure is that this is watched in a good theater with good sound systems, it just lifts you to that level where you feel that you are sitting right on the spot where it was shot. I've heard that birds migrate thousands of miles for breeding, it was until now a piece of information to me but to watch some ducks crossing the Himalayas midst of the storm towards the warmer climate of Indian subcontinent gave that piece of information a new meaning.

Yes, as the narrator discloses it is a circle of life, every living thing has a predator to complete the circle but to watch a polar bear dying , being lost and due to lack of food was heart breaking because the ice is melting faster every year it loses its stable hunting ground..and why does the ice melt faster..Global warming. watching the movie you will certainly feel it is still so much worth to save this planet especially other species we share this planet with. Its loathsome that there are still people who says Global warming is not caused by humans and firmly believes that it is a phase that nature is going through out of nobody's fault. Yes, I have heard these exact words. Leave alone the point if they are doing their part to reduce it but they even resist to accept the fact. I wonder ..

Summer

I love the weather currently..its hot but it will not continue for the rest of the week. Its going to get back to normal spring time temperatures which according to me is cold. Having bright sunny warm days really perks up my mood and spirit. I enjoy doing my workouts or yoga which on any cold day is a laborious task which I force myself to do. Its been 3 years since I made workouts and yoga a regular in my daily routine. I did not have any kind of exercise other than feeding and taking care of sandhya and Divya after they were born and even earlier to that I did not have a regular schedule for it. I gained a lot of weight when I was pregnant and luckily I lost most of it . Probably that since I was in my 20s my metabolism was good I was not slim, neither was I overweight. Around the time I hit 30 my "doctor" sister was enlightened about working out and she did a very good job of shedding a lot of extra pounds that she had gained over the years after 2 children. So she with all her excitement started nagging me to start on one side and M who had been a regular all the time on the other side. He even got me the membership for the gym he goes. and so I with much frowning started..would go for a day and then forget about it for a month, such was my interest in doing it blaming lack of time, my work, my commute, it looked impossible for me to continue. Then it happened, my dad had a heart attack and underwent a by-pass surgery as his arteries were 95% blocked and on top of this he was diabetic. I had the sad opportunity to watch his struggle post surgery, it was hard for all us around him. At that moment I realized at least for the loved ones around us one should never go through these kind of illness. We cannot control everything but I learned that diabetes, being genetic, we can make a change. It was only after that incident I regularly started going to the gym partly out of fear. Yes , I agree that I cannot totally avoid if its in my gene, I'm just putting up a fight and I agree at first I dreaded the days I had to go to the gym but gradually I started liking it. It sure makes a change in your mood and energy. And now after almost 3 years I love it even more as I reap the benefits out of it in regards to the looks and weight. I just wanted to inspire who ever happens to read this..

Tooth fairy visit

I don't know if I can call it a milestone but Sandhya lost her tooth couple of days back. The new tooth started growing even before the baby tooth started wiggling and fell out. Seeing a new one already growing I said probably I should take her to the dentist and pull the old one out. By the next day evening one of the tooth was already out and other one was wiggling badly attached only barely, I was really shocked. The previous day it was not even wiggling :( she had had her hands on it whole day wiggling it constantly. She was carrying around her fallen tooth in a small Ziploc to put it under her pillow for the tooth fairy to pick it up. I offered her the idea of burying it in mud in the backyard remembering what I did when I was young she just dismissed it and proclaimed that she is in fact going to put it under her pillow. Of course the idea of getting money from the tooth fairy obviously was more attractive to her. So the whole evening she was carrying her Ziploc as if it was her pride and asset and Divya following her eyeing longingly on Sandhya's fallen tooth and asking her to show the bare spot in the mouth often. That night she remembered , with added countless reminders from Divya, put it under her pillow and I played the to tooth fairy and replaced the tooth with a dollar bill.

After getting the tooth I didn't know what to do with it as I did not have the heart to throw it in the trash. Call me crazy, but I was staring at that tiny baby tooth on my hand for few minutes..felt a swirl in my stomach..my baby is growing up..this is indeed one of her next milestone physically. I then buried it in the mud next day to just satisfy my fancy :).

So the new tooth with lack of space is growing way back inside than where it should be. hmmm... I can see myself making endless trips to the dentist ..getting ready to write a big check...

P.S. Divya later that night threw a tantrum as she wanted her tooth to fall too she couldn't digest the fact that Sandhya is first to get a visit from Tooth fairy..."all is never fair between siblings"..

What's in a name...

..Yeah thats what I thought until Divya asked me if she can change her name when she is grown up. Though I should say that we (Me and M) did not spend a lot of time choosing their names and its very common nothing new or creative, but we thought it was short and sweet rhyming with Sandhya, which again was chosen at a spur of a moment..lot of things crossed my mind when she asked the question and I asked if she was bullied or mocked at school for her name (though I strongly believed should not be the case)..of all the answers I could or anyone could think off she said "Its a kids name, I'm a small girl now, I cannot have the same name when I'm grown up too.."..err..I direly wanted to know how they come up with these kind of thoughts...*fists down*... Kids I say ...

Mission accomplished

5.45 am. It is already 15 mts past from when the alarm went off. I watch the clock next to my bed and a voice in my head starts off..urging me to get up, its getting late but my body does not want to cooperate, I close my eyes to catch few more mts of sleep ...again I open my eyes to see 5 mts gone by just like that, 5.50 am, the voice in my head explodes, so I drag myself out of the bed. Once in the shower I remember I had to sign off the kid's home work and I was running through other lists of things that needs to be done today, personal errands and work and then I heard a knock on the bathroom door and heard Divya call me..It must be only 6 am now, its too early for her ...may be she wanted to use the toilet, I think,..may be she is desperate.."go..run to the other bathroom" I scream from inside the shower.."No I want to tell you something"..now I hear her shouting with her mouth stuck to the door hinge..I was confused now, I stop the shower and crack open the door a bit and peek out to see two little heads standing there rubbing there eyes..Whats the matter? why are you both up so early I ask.."Happy B'day ma.." "Happy b'day to you.." saying this they ran back to their beds...sweet...but of course they did not remember it on their own, they are not aware of the date of the month yet. After 9 years of nagging and whining I'm happy to say that Mani remembered it for the first time before me letting him know...

Language convinience..

After I started blogging there is this thread running at the background of my mind as I go through my day and noting to myself "oh I have to blog this.." but lack of time to properly sit down and type the contents hit me on the face and by the time I get around or force myself to post something I lose the steam of what I initially had in my mind.Last week I volunteered for book reading at Sandhya's class. Public school system here encourages high parental involvement and with my work and commute I was never able to do it to my satisfaction, and so when they called for this book reading thing I was only eager to participate. I made her choose a book from home which I can read for a group of kids from her class. Sandhya was part of the first group that came to me. She was prmptly showing off to other kids "hey-my-mom-is-here" excitement chatting non-stop, talking about the book, about me and what not. After a while it was getting uncontrollable..she was laughing too loud and interrupting me constantly which made other kids to also distract and I at the other end smiling and telling her nicely to stop so I can go ahead with reading with all the patience I had. At one point she stretched her leg and tried to lie down on the floor with her hand propped up....this is it I thought..but realizing my environment where I'm supposed to not loose my cool, for a second I was on the verge of taking off from the location as fast as I can..hmm.. you won't know how I empathized with the Kinder teachers..in fact all of them in teaching profession at that moment, I sternly and slowly said this with a big smile still on my face " Sandhya, udhai venuamaa?" (which apparently translates to "do you need a spank") haa...that did the trick and the other kids around her did not have a clue what I said and was I relieved when I came to work and sat at my desk..you bet.

Taking a closer look

The other day when I was talking to my mom I heard her say that my dad rejected the
idea of putting my nephews to a different school which was supposed to be good stating that it is a bit far so risky as the commute involves crossing busy streets. I can sense a little disappointment in her voice but surprisingly I supported my dad coming up with the reason that his intuition is right most of the time and that it is reasonable for him to consider the distance and advised her to let go about the idea of changing schools.

It is surprising because I used to hate my dad's over protectiveness when I was growing up. He is not a kind of person who would sit down and explain to the kids about the reason why he is saying 'NO' for anything. He bluntly refuses any requests from us ( if he thinks it might be a problem or not safe, which I later understood) but then, when you are young and when you see other kids your age do it but you are not allowed you certainly don't like that, atleaset I hated it. I have barely traveled in a public transport bus alone when I was in school. I had to fight so much to ride a bicycle to school which used to be near and using the back roads without much traffic. When I entered college which was in a different town ( out of his sight) I took the liberty of doing things which I was otherwise generally not allowed like going to restaurants with friends or going to a movie. I sometimes travel alone from my college to home and lie to him that the friends just left when he comes to pick me up from the station. Once I remember I traveled by bus with my friends and then went to the train station after reaching chennai and faked that I came by train because my dad felt traveling long distance by bus is not safe and that too in the night. It was fun, thrilling and gave the strong adrenaline rush which I enjoyed in doing such things.

I arrogantly believed I was doing nothing wrong, thought that his denial is not a big deal as he would never say yes to these "simple" things. All I felt was rejection ( blame the age and hormones). Now after becoming a parent myself I slowly start to recognize, the way I see things changed. Can I say that I can totally relate to his concerns. For eg. on the night that I traveled by bus if the bus had a break down and we were stranded in the middle of the night, what if something bad happens in theater where I was watching a movie, this was what would've run through my dad's mind. Well, these things can happen to anybody anywhere but from thinking from his view all he wanted was to avoid any mishap or a possible bad situation to his children. If everybody was protective about their children my dad was just ovveerrlly impractically protective.

Now when I imagine my daughters traveling by bus in the night alone on that roads... a shiver goes through my nerves, I would definitely not approve that. But having gone through the experience I can foresee the reaction if I'm like my dad to my daughters, so somewhere I need to find a balance between being protective and also let them grow independently without them realizing my protective hands around them which will be a challenge given the tints of my dad's personality in me...

Luckily both Sandhya and Divya are not bad eaters rather they are fond of food in a way. They eat for the most part without any fuss. I don't have to plead or run behind them to make them eat or be worried that they are not eating enough (touching wood..). Mani took them to grocery shopping and at the end bought them a cup of frozen yogurt. After settling down at a table to eat, Mani asked whether he can have a bite, as he was asking, Sandhya quickly started to gather her cup and other stuff closer to her and then looked at him with a look of innocence and surprise.. looked at the table around Mani and then asked very concernedly "What are you going to eat daddy?

One more year..

The twins turned 6 this Feb. 4th. I can't believe 6 years have gone by already.Oh, Well I say this every year right from their first birthday. I still remember fresh the day they were squirming on my hands. Hard to get past the thought that they are not toddlers anymore but little GIRLS :)

So much for that...

As it got late for Mani to arrive from work two days back both the girls started asking me why he hasn't come yet. As I was too immersed in washing the dishes I was thinking to myself may be some problem at work, at the same time heard Sandhya say may be he went to India. Surprised I turned to her and asked why all of a sudden she came up with this India stuff. She said that M told them that morning that he might go to India to see his dad. It was true that M had been contemplating about a short trip to India. So then I started to play along their lines and said indeed he has gone to India. Both of them were upset and said they miss him and that they wanted him back asap which was infact entertaining to me. I cheered them saying " thats ok, any way you both cry when he wakes you up in the morning, and say you don't like appa to give you time outs..we can have fun having Girl's day at home until he comes.."."No No, but he also takes us to the park and get us candy some times " and Divya finally asked me "but ma,don't YOU miss him too?" I playingly said "No I don't" "but he said he missed you when you went to India when Chennai thatha was sick last year..." I was totally knocked out at that statement. Knowing about him, who is so not of this kind, expressing feelings in words and who is notoriously bad in remembering birthdays or even our anniversary it was very hard for me to believe.."really.. really did he say that Divya" as I was thinking Divya said " Yes he did.." and then casually added " ...when he was folding the laundry he said if you were here he doesn't have to do this"

A moment to cherish..

As I was mixing up the salt for the idli batter Sandhya and Divya sat next to me to watch it as usual. They like watching me making chapathi dough or like this mixing the batter which I do with my bare hands. Their hands will be on alert ready to put in to the dough even if I miss a second not watching. I'm sure it looks like play dough for them and as normal kids they like messing up. They like to watch me so much when doing this they never fail to ask me "Can I put my hands in and do it" and which I dismiss with a "no" smile. This time in addition to the smile I said " oh, I will be very happy if you wanted to do this - preparing the idli batter and the chapathi dough - when you are grown up too" for which Divya said "ma when we are grown up then you will become a grandma right, then you should make these and cook for me when you are visiting me..just like how patti does now when she visits us". I said "OK, that’s a nice observation Divya , I will cook for you don't worry" as I was saying this Sandhya interrupted me " Divya, amma will be old when we are grown up so she cannot do all the work, we have to cook for her and take care of her" I stopped everything to enjoy that moment.

My sweet Sandhya, I don't know if you will go by your words actually when you are older but thank you for just giving this moment to treasure. With all the possibility/odds that this blog still exists and in case you happen to read this I wanted you to know that I will cherish your words for my life

Good old days..

I was wondering..when did I ever get so insecure and protective..may be it is the country and the different environment (than that of my childhood) is doing this. Yesterday one of my neighbor girl came knocking on the door asking if Sandhya and Divya can play with her...I said why not and let her inside. As I was taking care of the cooking I heard them go to the Garage and open the Garage door..I hurried to them and said they are not supposed to go the road and play only inside the garage or inside the house and went back to the kitchen. After a while I realized I did not hear them anywhere around the house and ran to see where they are...I saw them running on the road with a ball..I got furious (fear equates to anger for me always) I waved them to come inside without showing my anger. and after they came closer I sternly asked them to get inside hinting that their play date is done for that day..they were upset but they knew what they did was not acceptable that too after I had warned them not to go outside so they whined a little but came with me without throwing a lot of tantrums.

This made me bring back my child hood memories , when I was their age I had no restrictions like these.I grew up, at least for the most part of my childhood, in a big apartment complex. We had lot of same age-group pals to play with. I would just dash out to play once I come from school and change my uniform. My mom would only know that we are somewhere in the complex that is all, she wouldn't fear of anything else unless it got too late for us to return home( or may be she feared, when I think back, and I did not know this until I became a mom ). It always felt so safe ..there used to be days like summer holidays that I would be outside the house for a whole day only coming home to have lunch and head back out immediately. the happy feelings, nostalgia, these memories bring in me cannot be completely put in words in this one post or in this blog. All those Deepavalis I celebrated living there will be my best. I feel kind of sad that my daughters are missing such an environment. On the same lines I also noticed that the picture had completely changed back in India too. I never see any one play in the evening nowadays, either they go to some classes or tuition..its really sad, I feel that children from this generation may not be having a childhood that I consider the best, playing outside with friends without any fear and conditions.