A moment to cherish..

As I was mixing up the salt for the idli batter Sandhya and Divya sat next to me to watch it as usual. They like watching me making chapathi dough or like this mixing the batter which I do with my bare hands. Their hands will be on alert ready to put in to the dough even if I miss a second not watching. I'm sure it looks like play dough for them and as normal kids they like messing up. They like to watch me so much when doing this they never fail to ask me "Can I put my hands in and do it" and which I dismiss with a "no" smile. This time in addition to the smile I said " oh, I will be very happy if you wanted to do this - preparing the idli batter and the chapathi dough - when you are grown up too" for which Divya said "ma when we are grown up then you will become a grandma right, then you should make these and cook for me when you are visiting me..just like how patti does now when she visits us". I said "OK, that’s a nice observation Divya , I will cook for you don't worry" as I was saying this Sandhya interrupted me " Divya, amma will be old when we are grown up so she cannot do all the work, we have to cook for her and take care of her" I stopped everything to enjoy that moment.

My sweet Sandhya, I don't know if you will go by your words actually when you are older but thank you for just giving this moment to treasure. With all the possibility/odds that this blog still exists and in case you happen to read this I wanted you to know that I will cherish your words for my life

Good old days..

I was wondering..when did I ever get so insecure and protective..may be it is the country and the different environment (than that of my childhood) is doing this. Yesterday one of my neighbor girl came knocking on the door asking if Sandhya and Divya can play with her...I said why not and let her inside. As I was taking care of the cooking I heard them go to the Garage and open the Garage door..I hurried to them and said they are not supposed to go the road and play only inside the garage or inside the house and went back to the kitchen. After a while I realized I did not hear them anywhere around the house and ran to see where they are...I saw them running on the road with a ball..I got furious (fear equates to anger for me always) I waved them to come inside without showing my anger. and after they came closer I sternly asked them to get inside hinting that their play date is done for that day..they were upset but they knew what they did was not acceptable that too after I had warned them not to go outside so they whined a little but came with me without throwing a lot of tantrums.

This made me bring back my child hood memories , when I was their age I had no restrictions like these.I grew up, at least for the most part of my childhood, in a big apartment complex. We had lot of same age-group pals to play with. I would just dash out to play once I come from school and change my uniform. My mom would only know that we are somewhere in the complex that is all, she wouldn't fear of anything else unless it got too late for us to return home( or may be she feared, when I think back, and I did not know this until I became a mom ). It always felt so safe ..there used to be days like summer holidays that I would be outside the house for a whole day only coming home to have lunch and head back out immediately. the happy feelings, nostalgia, these memories bring in me cannot be completely put in words in this one post or in this blog. All those Deepavalis I celebrated living there will be my best. I feel kind of sad that my daughters are missing such an environment. On the same lines I also noticed that the picture had completely changed back in India too. I never see any one play in the evening nowadays, either they go to some classes or tuition..its really sad, I feel that children from this generation may not be having a childhood that I consider the best, playing outside with friends without any fear and conditions.