Taking a closer look

The other day when I was talking to my mom I heard her say that my dad rejected the
idea of putting my nephews to a different school which was supposed to be good stating that it is a bit far so risky as the commute involves crossing busy streets. I can sense a little disappointment in her voice but surprisingly I supported my dad coming up with the reason that his intuition is right most of the time and that it is reasonable for him to consider the distance and advised her to let go about the idea of changing schools.

It is surprising because I used to hate my dad's over protectiveness when I was growing up. He is not a kind of person who would sit down and explain to the kids about the reason why he is saying 'NO' for anything. He bluntly refuses any requests from us ( if he thinks it might be a problem or not safe, which I later understood) but then, when you are young and when you see other kids your age do it but you are not allowed you certainly don't like that, atleaset I hated it. I have barely traveled in a public transport bus alone when I was in school. I had to fight so much to ride a bicycle to school which used to be near and using the back roads without much traffic. When I entered college which was in a different town ( out of his sight) I took the liberty of doing things which I was otherwise generally not allowed like going to restaurants with friends or going to a movie. I sometimes travel alone from my college to home and lie to him that the friends just left when he comes to pick me up from the station. Once I remember I traveled by bus with my friends and then went to the train station after reaching chennai and faked that I came by train because my dad felt traveling long distance by bus is not safe and that too in the night. It was fun, thrilling and gave the strong adrenaline rush which I enjoyed in doing such things.

I arrogantly believed I was doing nothing wrong, thought that his denial is not a big deal as he would never say yes to these "simple" things. All I felt was rejection ( blame the age and hormones). Now after becoming a parent myself I slowly start to recognize, the way I see things changed. Can I say that I can totally relate to his concerns. For eg. on the night that I traveled by bus if the bus had a break down and we were stranded in the middle of the night, what if something bad happens in theater where I was watching a movie, this was what would've run through my dad's mind. Well, these things can happen to anybody anywhere but from thinking from his view all he wanted was to avoid any mishap or a possible bad situation to his children. If everybody was protective about their children my dad was just ovveerrlly impractically protective.

Now when I imagine my daughters traveling by bus in the night alone on that roads... a shiver goes through my nerves, I would definitely not approve that. But having gone through the experience I can foresee the reaction if I'm like my dad to my daughters, so somewhere I need to find a balance between being protective and also let them grow independently without them realizing my protective hands around them which will be a challenge given the tints of my dad's personality in me...

Luckily both Sandhya and Divya are not bad eaters rather they are fond of food in a way. They eat for the most part without any fuss. I don't have to plead or run behind them to make them eat or be worried that they are not eating enough (touching wood..). Mani took them to grocery shopping and at the end bought them a cup of frozen yogurt. After settling down at a table to eat, Mani asked whether he can have a bite, as he was asking, Sandhya quickly started to gather her cup and other stuff closer to her and then looked at him with a look of innocence and surprise.. looked at the table around Mani and then asked very concernedly "What are you going to eat daddy?

One more year..

The twins turned 6 this Feb. 4th. I can't believe 6 years have gone by already.Oh, Well I say this every year right from their first birthday. I still remember fresh the day they were squirming on my hands. Hard to get past the thought that they are not toddlers anymore but little GIRLS :)

So much for that...

As it got late for Mani to arrive from work two days back both the girls started asking me why he hasn't come yet. As I was too immersed in washing the dishes I was thinking to myself may be some problem at work, at the same time heard Sandhya say may be he went to India. Surprised I turned to her and asked why all of a sudden she came up with this India stuff. She said that M told them that morning that he might go to India to see his dad. It was true that M had been contemplating about a short trip to India. So then I started to play along their lines and said indeed he has gone to India. Both of them were upset and said they miss him and that they wanted him back asap which was infact entertaining to me. I cheered them saying " thats ok, any way you both cry when he wakes you up in the morning, and say you don't like appa to give you time outs..we can have fun having Girl's day at home until he comes.."."No No, but he also takes us to the park and get us candy some times " and Divya finally asked me "but ma,don't YOU miss him too?" I playingly said "No I don't" "but he said he missed you when you went to India when Chennai thatha was sick last year..." I was totally knocked out at that statement. Knowing about him, who is so not of this kind, expressing feelings in words and who is notoriously bad in remembering birthdays or even our anniversary it was very hard for me to believe.."really.. really did he say that Divya" as I was thinking Divya said " Yes he did.." and then casually added " ...when he was folding the laundry he said if you were here he doesn't have to do this"