I started Meditation, started following The Heartfullness Way in Jan 2017, its over a year now that I'm practicing it. Probably I will use this space as a journal to my experiences. It is not with any conviction I started following the Heartfullness Way, I was rather looking for some kind of outlet to my personal situations and turmoil I was going through that period of time. I got a contact close to where I live through my sister who is practicing this for a while now. I took that opportunity to try, as I did not have any expectations, but with my little reading knowledge I know Meditation is something I would want to take up in my life at some point, but only I did not know where to start. So that was a perfect moment and opportunity to start which I did.
I met with the preceptor, received 3 inductions sitting for 3 days consecutively, which is basically a guidance on how to start with Mediation, the process and what to expect and such. I was told that when I sit meditating, it is natural to get thoughts arising, could be about anything, and was instructed to gently let go of the thought and remind myself gently about the present and divert attention to my heart and relax. That's an easy sentence to write and it was the hardest to do. On my second day, so much emotions going through my mind, I could not control sobbing, nothing in particular but I was sobbing uncontrollably. After that session I did feel lighter, but it was definitely not a magic pill that continued and everything was a happy path that day onward, actually far from it.
Regardless I kept practicing, usually I loose count of the times I remind myself that I'm mediating and gently bring back my attention to my heart during the mediation but I was told that is fine, I just need to accept that by going through the thoughts it basically means that I'm indirectly letting go of them from my system and will help me feel lighter and more cheerful from within. I believed, I said to myself every time I bring back my attention to "Let it go, it's Ok" I take a deep breath and relax focusing on my inner self and divinity I try to move towards.
I should admit I struggled to keep up with my practice around June of Last year when I lost my friend to brain tumor. I witnessed her passing away. That was the most closest loss I had in my life until that point. In fact this is one of the mental state that studies say Meditation helps to regain stability and calmness, but I could not do. I could not sit with my eyes closed for even few minutes without the thoughts of loss and life occupying my mind and more than that feeling of fear. For over 2 months I did not get anywhere near the thought of sitting down for meditation. It was painful. Then slowly I started again, with frequent visit to my preceptor for my 1:1 sitting. they say in the Heart fullness way, session with preceptor helps elevate your experience as their years and years of meditative experience help clean/purify the receptor or the abhyasi. I can vouch for that. I don't know what, nor can I explain or prove this is what is happening but, it does make me feel less burdened and more pious
This is not about religion or belief about god, it is about simple truth that every soul is divine, a path to naturally bring that inner divinity by practicing, by letting the heart guide you, it is the belief that every soul is right in their own perspective
Over the time, I noticed subtle difference in my decision making factors. My introspection on my deficits. This introspection helped change my attitude and how I react to a situation. This I feel was the biggest thing.."How I react.." Introspection helped me see myself. It is like a domino, you trigger one which leads to chain of events, similarly you change or fix one thing which leads to outcomes that you really did not plan. I fixed my reaction , which mainly includes anger and ego, which no wonder led to positive changes around me. When you are calm, the situation is under your control. It is still on going progress though.
I noticed that I do not dwell on small things by practicing letting go off, helped me to see or handle a situation as a third party. To see the situation outside of the circle to make more sense of it rather than being inside of it and dwelling on it which in my opinion leads to regrettable decisions. This may sound subtle but I cannot explain how big a change it is bringing in my outlook to life.
So what is the point?, what is life?, what is beyond family?. what is your purpose?
Practicing detachment is my goal. Detachment including family, situations and materials. This I think is the key for inner peace and happiness. Don't want to get attached and dwell inside of it. Get outside of the circle. Be pious , take decision from the heart as much as possible. That is my goal, that is my purpose. It may not help the world but it will help me and my surrounding ..remember the domino effect, you never know what ripple effect it will induce..I'm going for it.
I met with the preceptor, received 3 inductions sitting for 3 days consecutively, which is basically a guidance on how to start with Mediation, the process and what to expect and such. I was told that when I sit meditating, it is natural to get thoughts arising, could be about anything, and was instructed to gently let go of the thought and remind myself gently about the present and divert attention to my heart and relax. That's an easy sentence to write and it was the hardest to do. On my second day, so much emotions going through my mind, I could not control sobbing, nothing in particular but I was sobbing uncontrollably. After that session I did feel lighter, but it was definitely not a magic pill that continued and everything was a happy path that day onward, actually far from it.
Regardless I kept practicing, usually I loose count of the times I remind myself that I'm mediating and gently bring back my attention to my heart during the mediation but I was told that is fine, I just need to accept that by going through the thoughts it basically means that I'm indirectly letting go of them from my system and will help me feel lighter and more cheerful from within. I believed, I said to myself every time I bring back my attention to "Let it go, it's Ok" I take a deep breath and relax focusing on my inner self and divinity I try to move towards.
I should admit I struggled to keep up with my practice around June of Last year when I lost my friend to brain tumor. I witnessed her passing away. That was the most closest loss I had in my life until that point. In fact this is one of the mental state that studies say Meditation helps to regain stability and calmness, but I could not do. I could not sit with my eyes closed for even few minutes without the thoughts of loss and life occupying my mind and more than that feeling of fear. For over 2 months I did not get anywhere near the thought of sitting down for meditation. It was painful. Then slowly I started again, with frequent visit to my preceptor for my 1:1 sitting. they say in the Heart fullness way, session with preceptor helps elevate your experience as their years and years of meditative experience help clean/purify the receptor or the abhyasi. I can vouch for that. I don't know what, nor can I explain or prove this is what is happening but, it does make me feel less burdened and more pious
This is not about religion or belief about god, it is about simple truth that every soul is divine, a path to naturally bring that inner divinity by practicing, by letting the heart guide you, it is the belief that every soul is right in their own perspective
Over the time, I noticed subtle difference in my decision making factors. My introspection on my deficits. This introspection helped change my attitude and how I react to a situation. This I feel was the biggest thing.."How I react.." Introspection helped me see myself. It is like a domino, you trigger one which leads to chain of events, similarly you change or fix one thing which leads to outcomes that you really did not plan. I fixed my reaction , which mainly includes anger and ego, which no wonder led to positive changes around me. When you are calm, the situation is under your control. It is still on going progress though.
I noticed that I do not dwell on small things by practicing letting go off, helped me to see or handle a situation as a third party. To see the situation outside of the circle to make more sense of it rather than being inside of it and dwelling on it which in my opinion leads to regrettable decisions. This may sound subtle but I cannot explain how big a change it is bringing in my outlook to life.
So what is the point?, what is life?, what is beyond family?. what is your purpose?
Practicing detachment is my goal. Detachment including family, situations and materials. This I think is the key for inner peace and happiness. Don't want to get attached and dwell inside of it. Get outside of the circle. Be pious , take decision from the heart as much as possible. That is my goal, that is my purpose. It may not help the world but it will help me and my surrounding ..remember the domino effect, you never know what ripple effect it will induce..I'm going for it.
No comments:
Post a Comment